On the journey of embracing ambiguity
Hello, my Medium diary. And happy May! Time to get back to my writing/journaling routine.
I have been hit by unwanted reality, uncertainty, unsatisfying and unfilling, vague, ambiguous situations in the last few months. I feel like I am stuck and not able to make a move/decision. My circumstances are not even allowing me to make precise one.
What happens when you are stuck? Overthinking occurs. Overthinking almost everything and anything and make myself suffer lol.
Though I make efforts and take action each day, you cannot possibly be happy and patient all the time. One moment you are ‘okay, let’s give it a time, be patient’, in another moment, ‘wth?, I should have done this, I should have worked extra hard’.
Rather than judging my feelings and trying to neglect them, I started feeling whatever I am feeling.
Also, I am grateful (not being toxic positive tbh) for this current situation as it allows me to pause and make reflections, understand what I really want, what I have achieved, what should I focus and work on moving on. I am being kind to myself at the same time. Because we have to. Imagine your best friend is going through the same experience and undeniably you will say all those nicest things to cheer them up. When it comes to ourself, we tend to be so cruel. Let’s not do this and remember we are our best friend first.
At this point, I’ve accepted where I am (it took me a while; I had been in a denial). Though it is not the place where I wanted end up, hey, it is not a final destination for me. Plans don’t have to work out the exact way you expected. Things happen. And it is totally okay.
Though I am still unsure about my future, I am working on it and embracing this ambiguity with compassion towards myself. Things will all work out. Most important thing is, believe in yourself and own confidence. Ignore naysayers and do what you want to do. At the end of the day, you owe yourself that dream life and the required consitency and hard work.
Keeping those in mind, I will move forward and get to live every day. Can’t let this ambiguity stop living my life every day.
Just wanted to share that it is okay to go through this unclear phase of your life. You don’t have to figure everything out. And you don’t have to stuck neither. Small action every day. As long as you make effort, things will be resolved themselves. Not right away. Be patient. Don’t forget to live and appreciate moments in the meanwhile.
with love,
Oko
